While doing my latest book nook, I listened to Counting the Cost, Jill Duggar’s 2023 memoir that was written with her husband, Derick Dillard, and Craig Borlase. I had watched the Duggars with a bit of morbid fascination throughout the years, much like most reality TV, and was even more captivated when the religious house of cards came tumbling down. As truths about what the sisters endured and what their parents hid in the name of faith and the powers of TLC tumbled out in the media, I gobbled it up. Voyeuristic. I was a part of the problem. And this memoir seems to feed that same morbid desire to peel back the skin and see how her heart beats. But, and this is the important part, this memoir is a young woman reclaiming a narrative.
Jill Duggars story was written over by her parents then by TLC then by the media. This memoir was important more so for her than for us, and I can appreciate that. I still wonder how much of the voice is her and how much is her husband’s and how much remains the echoes of her parents, but it’s undoubtedly reclaiming her narrative and taking control.
How she handles the situation with her brother and the trauma surrounding it is done delicately and with grace. She sets boundaries with what she tells and how she tells it, and I commend her for that. I also appreciate the role faith played in her childhood and her decisions later in life. Despite everything she went through with her family and her faith, and faith seems steadfast and more determined though different that what her father had intended. It’s a growth that is refreshing to see when I think back to the early seasons of the show.
The audio book was read by Jill. As I’m trying to do more audiobooks, I am finding myself leaning into books read by the authors, and I thought she did an excellent job with some areas that have to be tough for her. (Her brief British accent is hilarious.)
This memoir isn’t for everyone, but I think it’s an excellent closure on a chapter that exposed so much of her life to our prying, and I wish her happiness, peace, and privacy.
A Girl Named Tommi 